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Garou Light Bulb Jokes!

From the wacky crew at GarouMUSH central...circa December 1994

How many Ahrouns does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two to fight for the honor of being the one chosen to journey to the Scab in quest of the lightbulb. Two to fight for the honor of being the one chosen to put the lightbulb in. And an entire pack to patrol the perimeter while the lightbulb is being screwed in, lest the Wyrm choose this moment of vulnerability to attack...

How many Philodox does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

SIX: Two to debate the merits of 40 Watt vs. 70 Watt bulbs, One to mediate the dispute, One to cite meaningful portions of the Litany (Does "The Veil shall not be lifted" include lampshades?), One to keep the Get and the Furies from throating each other as they bump around in the dark while waiting for the bulb to be changed, and One to screw in the light bulb.

How many Ragabash does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hmmm... Haven't tried that yet...

How many Ragabash does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Shhh... You'll spoil everything! The Wyrm can't see us here in the dark... (This could also be FAMOUS LAST WORDS!)

How many Red Talons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Weaver thing. Kill.

How many Black Furies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

How many Black Furies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to change the bulb and three to frenzy over the violation of the socket.

How many Bone Gnawers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

F**k, they'd eat it.

How many Fianna does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to screw it in, and nine to write bad poems and songs about it.

How many Fianna does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

TWO: One to hold the bulb and another to drink until the room starts spinning...

How many Children of Gaia does it take to screw in a lighbulb?

TEN: One to change the bulb and the other nine to "experience" it.

How many Children of Gaia does it take to screw in a lighbulb?

No, no, no. We cannot change the light bulb until it's ready to change, and besides, it wouldn't be burned out if we hadn't imposed the Impergium for so long.

How many Get of Fenris does it take t.... AAaaccCCcKKkk.... brbl...

let go of my... (gasp)... throat.... ahcckk... Bloody Claws, it was just a... aCCkK... JOKE... (where's a stick?) ACCCKKKK!

How many Glass Walkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but it'll COST ya...

How many Glass Walkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Wouldn't that break the Litany?

How many Silent Striders dow it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but he'll go all the way to Tokyo for the bulb...and charge mileage.

How many Silver Fangs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

FOUR: One to talk about the great light bulb screwings of days past, One to consult a wise ancestor about the proper techniques of light bulb insertion, One to screw it in, and One to remind him to stop talking into space and screw in the lightbulb.

How may Stargazers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Leave the bulb dead. The bloody light pollution interferes with my skywatching!!

How may Stargazers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Stargazers see by their own inner light.

How may Stargazers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The use of lightbulbs only binds you further to this poor material world...

How many Shadow Lords does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but you have to make her alpha or she won't even consider it!

How many Uktena does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to keep everyone else away while the others... Let's just say it gets screwed in and leave it at that!

How many Uktena does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why, none, of course. They'd rather leave everyone else in the dark...

How many Wendigo does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only weak whites need light bulbs...

How many Garou sitting around a fire pit does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

FIFTEEN: One to explain the Garou way of lightbulbs to the cubs, One to make wisecracks, Three to talk about other Garou behind their backs, Two to growl vague threats at each other, One to go idle while answering all the reg-mail, Two to go idle 'cus they're at work, One to show how ignorant the lupus can be of the homid's strange technology, and Four to wonder at the tragedy and woe implicit in the Garou way of life...
HEY! WAIT! None of them are actually screwing in the light bulb!

How many Guests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

ELEVEN: One to send a complete character conception (including stats, name, and password) to garou@cygnus.com instead of garou-reg@cygnus.com.
Two to log into the Guest character simultaneously and whine about how confusing it is.
One to stand in the OOC Lounge and bitch because only the friends of the wizards are allowed to play Bastet, and she ALWAYS plays a Bastet, and how *dare* we advertise a White Wolf game on the net that doesn't have free access to Bastet, and....
Three to spam about their Official White Wolf Credentials, and how we're not doing things The Right Way.
One to log in, display poor typing and cognitive skills, log out, then log in and complain about how "their friend" was so abused by us big bad newbie-eating visigoths, all in the exact same typing and (lack of) thinking style.
One to ask indignantly if we think we're trying to write a novel here or what. One to log in every day and ask when his/her concept is going to get done and why the reg-wizzes are so slow.
And, finally, one to log in, ask intelligent questions, send a well-written concept to garou-reg, survive Birthplace, and FINALLY go +ic and change the damned light bulb. (This last one is from Ambar.)

 

Mage Jokes

Q: Why did the Hermetic mage cross the road?
A: Because it was prescribed in Liber Labyrinthus.

Q: Why did the Verbena cross the road?
A:She crossed the toad.

Q:Why did the Virtual Adept cross the road?
A: His laptop was broken.

Q: Why did the Euthanatos cross the road?
A: To get in the chicken's way, so the car would hit it.

Q: Why did the Akashic Brother cross the road?
A: To see the other side of enlightenment.

Q: Why did the Celestial Chorus member cross the road?
A: To get away from the Hare Krishnas.

Q: Why did the Cultist of Exstacy cross the road?
A: He didn't. He took a hit, and FLEW across.

Q: Why did the Marauder cross the road?
A: Because he needed to plead his sanity to the King of the Potato people.

Q: How many wraiths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One... If they could only touch it...

Q: Why did the Virtual Adept cross the road?
A: Cross the road? What the hell were they doing away from their desk?

Q: Why did the Celestial Chorus member cross the road?
A: They had seen a sign...

Q: Why did the Void Engineer cross the road?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the MiB cross the road?
A: They didn't. There are lines that must never be crossed.

Q: Why did the Nephandi cross the road?
A: To show the others how easy it could be...

Q: Why did the $yndicate member cross the road?
A: To avoid the toll...

Q: Why did the Cultist cross the road?
A: Because it was there.

Q: Why did the Orphan cross the road?
A: Road? What road?

Q: Why did the Marauder cross the road?
A: Revenge. It crossed him first.

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