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The Munchkin Test
Note: the comments enclosed in "So where does that leave my 5d6 discard lowest system
then?You know, this sounds really funky. I must give it a go next
time I find a DM dumb enough to let me play it.Otherwise known as giving the DM a bottle of Famous Grouse
before the game.D&D, not AD&D(alternate) You are a Munchkin if your mage doesn't
NEED a Spellbookmay???!!!***
You are not a munchkin if you can't set fire to a
flask of wine.
You may be a munchkin if your flask of wine burns like a
flask of oil.
You are a munchkin if your flask of wine burns like a 10
OK, admittedly, this doesn't make as much sense if you haven't
been following the "Famous last words thread".
You are not a munchkin if you think munchkins are
You may be a munchkin if you think munchkins are a bit
You are a munchkin if you think munchkins aren't too
I don't know WHAT you are if you think munchkins are weak.
You are not a munchkin if you've reached the 36th
level in D&D
You may be a munchkin if you've reached the 36th level in
You are a munchkin if you've reached the 36th level of
SPELLS in AD&D.
You are not a munchkin if your party contains 4
You may be a munchkin if your party contains 14
You are a munchkin if your party doesn't contain ANY
You are not a munchkin DM if the god of your world is
You may be a munchkin DM if the god of your world is
You are a munchkin DM if the god of your world is your
You are a munckin if your paladin has a teleporting
You are not a munchkin if you roll stat on 3d6.
You may be a munchkin if you roll stat on 4d6.
You are a munchkin if you roll stats on 6d4.
You are not a munchkin if you use a sabre
You may be a munchkin if you use two sabres.
You are a munchkin if you use a LIGHT SABRE.
You are not a munchkin if you need a beltpouch to
store your silver.
You may be a munchkin if you need a backpack to store
You are a munchkin if you need a Portable Hole to store
You are not a munchkin if you gaive gold coins to
armourers and tell them to keep the change:
You may be a munchkin if you give gold coins to inkeepers
and tell them to keep the change.
You are a munchkin if you give gold coins to beggars and
tell them to keep the change.
You are not a munchkin if you tip a barmaid.
You may be a munchkin if you tip a priest.
You are a munchkin if you tip a God.
You are not a munchkin if you keep a list of your
You may be a munchkin if you keep a booklet of your
You are a munchkin if you find it saves paper to just
tick off your kills in the Monstrous Manual.
You are not a munchkin if you need one volume to
record all your spells.
You may be a munchkin if you need several volumes to
record your spells.
You are a munchkin if you need a laptop Pentium to record
all your spells.
You are not a munchkin if you read a Gary Gygax
You may be a munchkin if you read ALL Gary Gygax
You are a munchkin if you WROTE a Gary Gygax novel. :)
You are not a munchkin if you wear Plate Mail
You may be a munchkin if you wear Plate +2
You are a munchkin if you wear one of the five ronin
not necessarily true.
You are not a munchkin if you've HEARD of the Five Yoroi
You may be a munchkin if you WEAR one of the Five
You are a munchkin if you use the Yoroi to fight Orcs.
And the final note....
For times when the term munchkin just won't do, I give you the
How to spot the MUNCHKING!:
- In order to prove he is not a munchkin, he uses his
weakest weapon in combat (a +5 Vorpal Knitting Needle).
- He ride into battle on an Avatar.
- He posts messages with title like "NEW IMPROVED
- He spent more time on his .sig than you spent on your masters
- He has yet to find a character sheet with enough room for
- He ticks of his magic Items in the ENCYCLOPEDIA MAGICA to save
- He wears at
- shirt that says "My other magic sword is ALSO an
- He is annoyed that the stat tables in the PHB only go up to
- He insists on taking a Half Elf/Half Dwarf to get ALL the good
- He insists that his last GM let him have the 'Rod of Seven
Parts' ("See, its right here on my character sheet beside
- He thinks wizard spells are CUMULATIVE.
- He actually said "I played D&D with Gary Gygax at a
convention." and seems PROUD of it.
- He is reading this post and getting angry.
- He penalizes players XP for wasting time talking to NPCs.
- He thinks that Elminster is a whimp.
- He thinks the Tarrasque is a whimp.
- He thinks GOD is a whimp.
- He thinks the DM is a wimp.
- His paladin puts on the Hand and Eye of Vecna, and Vecna's
alignment starts changing to Lawful Good.
- He has Heward's Mystical Organ fully repaired and tuned up and
sitting in his castle's basement gathering dust.
- He installed a mechanical play option onto the Organ to play
complicated tunes without error.
- His Charisma is 25 and he doesn't even know what that
- He keeps telling the DM that the Treasure Tables are way too
- And he insists that the listed treasure type for "Kobold"
applies to each individual kobold.
- You upload to AOL 35 poorly but painstakingly executed
drawings of all the fantastically beautiful and dangerous women
who cling to your character like lint.
- He (a different munchkin) downloads the above drawings, and
orders his DM to let him have them as henchmen.
- The name of every spell he has ever researched begins with
- He thought Tomb of Horrors was simple, even though he fell for
every single trap in the dungeon.
- your character has more hp's than xp's and he's not
- Your friends stop playing with you 'cause they're just
- Your character sheet is longer than the encyclopedia
- You've sent a letter to the Vatican insisting they cannonize
- Your armor has more pluses than a first graders addition
- Reading about the character in the 'invincible PC' post gave
you a warm fuzzy.
- You have a law suit pending against TSR for not
including your character in 'Legends and Lore'. (counts double if
you think you may win)
- You've been published in the dragon magazine april edition of
'unanswerables' more than once.
- You think encumberance should be banned from play
- You think character Hit dice are cumulative (ie. a third level
paladin has 6 d10's worth of hit points).
- When someone says 'D&D is just a game' you hug your
character sheet to your chest and whisper 'he was only kidding...
he didn't mean it."
- You claim to be immune to tactical nukes becuase they aren't +
3 or better.
- When your DM said the monsters also get crit hits, you
attacked him with a chair.
- Your characters strength is Avagadro's number.
- You claim to have killed the entire deities and demigods.
- You laminate your character sheets.
- (FR players) Ao is your squire, and Elminster your
- Your character is his own deity.
- You bought a three hundred dollar HP calculator so you could
figure out how many gold coins you have.
- Your original character was gonna be a
PALADIN/MAGE/DRUID/ASSASSIN/MONK, but when your DM wouldn't listen
to your 'reasonable' request to suspend the split experience rule,
you whined for a moment then chose your present character.
- When you roll dice it goes something like this: You use the
12d6 drop the lowest 9 method twelve times and take the six best.
You then roll again for your 'bonus points', only when you roll
and somehow fail to get three sixes, you say 'okay, this time for
- You think that a Girdle of Storm Giant strength, guantlets of
Ogre Power, and a Warhammer of Thunder of Lightning are a common
combination for magical treasure and you get mad if the Warhammer
is not Vorpal w/life stealing Abilites.
- Your character sheet smells like sex.
- Your THAC0 is Planck's constant.
- You think ordinary munchkins are wimps.
- You devised a new ability generation system - roll 4d100, keep
- You disposed of all the regular magical items in the DMG
because they weren't powerful enough.
- You expect your god to pray to him.
- Your dex is lightspeed
P.S. This is all in fun. If you got angry, You are a
MUNCHKING! and no one really cares what you think!
email@example.com (Jonathan Edelstein)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Bill Wilson)
email@example.com (Dave Brohman)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Neil Barnes)
bf679@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (R. John Morrow)
email@example.com (Mike Pelarski)
firstname.lastname@example.org (The King of the Munchkins... :) )
email@example.com (Jason DeNeault)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Dave Brohman)
gs01rmb@panther.Gsu.EDU (Rolf M. Bunchner)
email@example.com (Cameron King)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Shawn Kester)
email@example.com (The Munchkin )
firstname.lastname@example.org (Robert Enters)
email@example.com (Lawrence R. Mead)
firstname.lastname@example.org (John Morgan Little)
email@example.com (Terry Austin)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Chris Appelhans)
email@example.com (A PASSANTE)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Greg Tannahill)
email@example.com (The Amorphous Mass) firstname.lastname@example.org
email@example.com (Chris Rachiele)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Kirby Kuah)
DarkStarCO@worldnet.att.net (Chester Boyd)
email@example.com (Chaos Harlequin)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Andrew Hackard)
ZDFY66B@prodigy.com (Joseph Gerber)
email@example.com (Guido Villa)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Mike Currie)
email@example.com (M. CARLSON)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Jeremy Watkins)
email@example.com (Sea Wasp)
George21@concentric.net (George Hirst)
JMXK24E@prodigy.com (Chris Pappas)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Mr. M.J. Lush)
email@example.com (Alan Robinson)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Scatt Man)
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